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some forum members asked me for these back in august. here they are right on time (showbread time.)

1. I’m Lost – I liked the idea of a purposefully introductory song to begin the album. I wrote and demoed the music and wrote an accompanying poem that sort of establishes a spirit of confession and lowliness before the album expounds upon all the reoccurring themes of finality, death, etc.
2. Nothing Matters Anymore – More of less the theme song for The Fear Of God, embracing the spirit of “insanity” and the Christian interpreted Tyler Durden philosophy of “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
3. Lost Connection With The Head – This song deals specifically with a handful of people that were close friends of mine for several years before lifestyle choices forced us to drift apart. My old friends embraced a kind of party mentality that has a lot to do with drugs, alcohol, sex and other various “cheap thrills”. After being prompted by the Holy Spirit to write a very personal letter to one of my friends, she replied with a letter of her own that basically explained that while she realized her current choices were foolish, she had no desire to make any changes. She was completely satisfied with nothing. The lyrics to this song were inspired by that experience. Musically, the song was (as many people guessed) inspired by Marilyn Manson’s tendency toward bass heavy riffs paired with glam-rock, low-end drum rhythms.
4. Regret Consumes Me – Showbread is a band who has fallen victim to the curse/blessing of an ever changing cast of characters. This song is a letter to many of the former members of Showbread who left the band on less than perfect terms. Each line deals with a different person culminating in the overall realization that, in the end, all changes have been for the best.
5. Out Of My Mind – While touring to promote my books last winter I for some reason developed to urge to listen to The Darkness every day for a couple of weeks. This song was written under that influence. My wife, while a fan of The Darkness herself, grew weary of my dedication. I decided to use this music to write her a love song. Weaved in are the overarching themes dealing with love’s connection to insanity. During the writing sessions this song became known as “The AC/DC song” and Landon’s solo was inspired by Angus Young. We had the hardest time making the song fit within the musical context of the album and often considered cutting it from the final list. After several drafts we found a balance we were all happy with.
6. Vehement – Vehement is one of the songs that changed very little from it’s original demo to the version that appears on the album. At Sylvia’s suggestion, we extended the track slightly. Lyrically the song deals with the problem many Christians run into when they feel the need to verbally correct those they decide aren’t living up to the proper standards. Biblically, we are called to lead by actions and deeds done in humility and service and to avoid verbal criticism. Obviously this doesn’t stop many Christians from endlessly running their mouths and thus inspiring this song.
7. The Great Emasculation – The song that rails against the idea of a man allowing his wife or significant other to change who he is. I wrote this song as a person annoyed with how many guys I know that become an entirely different person, and not for the better, just a shell of the personality they once were. Marriage, a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church, is of course about humility and becoming a servant. But love does not involve sapping the essence from someone to accommodate your own personality.
8. Shepherd, No Sheep – Perhaps the signature song for Showbread’s attitude toward criticism, fan expectations and music in general. Annoyance becomes antipathy and antipathy becomes apathy. The song is the prearranged reply to everyone who would have a problem with the album. Ironically, several reviews pointed out “Shepherd, No Sheep” as the only dull song on an otherwise decent record. I think they missed the point.
9. Let There Be Raw – The summary of Showbread.
10. I Think I’m Going To See You – The character in this song is struggling with traditional American ideas of pride, patriotism, selfishness, greed etc. He’s realizing he identifies less and less with the world and as he steadily withdraws from he develops his own antithetical ideas in the process that revolve around humility and self-sacrifice. The more he embraces this notion of madness, the more he sees the true character of God.
11. Precursor – Intended as a literal precursor to the track that follows it. The character in this song has discarded his ideas of faith and spiritual beliefs after considering that perhaps he had been “scared” into religion. This person has latched on to the popular idea that the idea of a personal God exists only to comfort the souls of those who fear we are alone in the universe. As the song goes on and this character begins to examine the theological ramifications of holding the Bible as truth, he discovers that belief is certainly more terrifying than unbelief.
12. The Fear Of God – The continuation of the song “Precursor” in which the narrator has suspended his disbelief long enough to accept the possibility of Jesus as God. In this intimate and uninhibited moment he poses all his questions to God, namely: where are you? How can you be good if the world is so bad? As more questions are raised and the world becomes darker and uglier the peace of God, in all of its mystery, transcends the moment of complete despair.
13. Until We Meet Again – A song written for my best friend after he died last year.


5. SHOWBREAD: No Sir, Nihilism Is Not Practical
4. SHOWBREAD: Age Of Reptiles
3. SHOWBREAD: Anorexia
2. SHOWBREAD: Nervosa

and the number one album of the last decade….

1. SHOWBREAD: The Fear Of God

Wow! it was an incredibly difficult list to compile (actually it was terribly easy.)
there were at least 5 AMAZING records that came out this decade and it was murder trying to narrow down this list! in the end, it was all about the best of the best. kudos to everyone who almost got mentioned (no one else was close.)

happy new year.

After the long wait for Avatar the first thing most people ask about it is “Did it live up to the hype?” In my personal opinion: It did, and then some.
Watching Avatar, I felt (pardon the expression) like a kid again. It reminded me how wonderful movies can be. Mike said that when a kid stood up in front of him in the theater it startled him, he had forgotten he was in a theater watching a movie he was so immersed.
Such has been my experience with James Cameron all through my childhood. To me, Cameron movies are similar to Pixar movies in that i don’t personally think there is a bad one. Some are better than others in my opinion, but all of them are great. Let me try to countdown his majors:

6. Titanic A movie’s success isn’t necessarily a judge of it’s quality, but Titanic is actually a dang good movie. It has awesome elements of action, adventure, romance and even some darker more frightening moments.

5. True Lies Outside of the Terminator films, True Lies has got to be not just the ultimate Arnold movie, but the quintessential shoot ’em up, explosion action movie.

4. The Abyss Watch the director’s cut. It’s an amazingly unique and ambitious movie (most of it takes place under water).

3. The Terminator The one that started it all is darker and scarier than the rest of them.

2. Aliens Instead of trying to recreate what Ridley Scott did with his claustrophobic and horrifying original, Jim turns the sequel into a densely layered horror adventure with marines, big guns, lots of Xenomorphs, and of course: the queen!

1. Terminator 2: Judgment Day One of the greatest movie experiences of my life so far and arguably the greatest movie sequel ever made.

Having only seen it once and all the other movies a whole mess of times, I’m not sure where Avatar fits into the countdown yet. My first impression is that it could very well be right in the front, maybe even number 2? Time will tell. But it was certainly one of the best experiences i’ve had at the movies. Seeing it in imax 3D made it the most awe inspiring and immersive time i’ve had at the movies for sure.

go see it.

-Josh Dies

Eddie Pola and George Wyle were right; it is indeed the most wonderful time of the year. Like many others, it’s always been my favorite and I strive to really wring every pine smelling drop out of the brief window of celebration. Myself being a Christian, Jesus Christ isn’t a component of my life, but rather the identifying characteristic by which everything “me” revolves around. That said, many of the secular elements of the Christmas celebration are among my favorites, and I’m perfectly happy with this. To me, Christmas is in fact the celebration of Jesus’ birth, but more so, the celebration of Jesus! His life, His ministry and what it means that God was here in the flesh. Broader Christmas themes like peace on earth and good will toward men make perfect sense when you’re celebrating Jesus. I’m not one to hold any contempt for a Christmas tree or Santa Claus on a can of Coca-Cola. Although not directly linked to Jesus’ birth, I love everything that comes with the holidays: cookies, wreaths, reindeer, the grinch, etc.

Most churches have an alternative to a Halloween celebration, usually a “Fall Festival” or in Drew’s case they have “Hallelujah Night”. Essentially this is how Christmas ended up on December, 25th. We aren’t remotely sure about the exact birth date of Jesus of Nazareth. Although there is some small speculation that it could have possibly happened on or around Christmas time, the general consensus is that we don’t know for sure. We do know that there were several holiday celebrations (Pagan or otherwise) taking place during what is now the Christmas holiday season, so it made sense for the Church to set an “official” date to celebrate JC’s birthday during an otherwise secular celebration time. So, in 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25th.

There seem to be two popular misconceptions about why Christmas is when it is. One is that Jesus was actually born on December 25th, and the other is that Christmas is solely based on a Pagan holiday (like other Christian holidays) and otherwise wouldn’t exist at all. Both of these are bunk.

History lessons aside, here’s another thing that’s bunk: Christians up in arms about the way the world treats Christmas. I know of people who won’t shop at Old Navy because an employee wished them a happy holiday instead of a merry Christmas. This seems absurd to me… Do you shop at Old Navy for the evangelism and Christian moral ethics or do you shop there to buy some dang fleece pajamas? It’s no secret that the American Christian church has long forgotten that the Bible tells us that Christianity will always be a small and persecuted minority, for some reason we are dead set on people (Christian or non-Christian) doing things our way and our way only.

A few years ago, I posted something on the Showbread website and signed it “Happy Holidays!” Our mailbox was quickly flooded with angry emails from Christians who couldn’t bear to think we had become so sinful. I was completely ignorant to the whole “Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas” controversy that was going on. My simple response was that Christmas IS, by definition, A HOLIDAY. And so is New Year’s Day. By acknowledging Christmas as a day of festivity when people typically don’t go to work, I wasn’t removing Jesus from the celebration or setting out to blend all world religions. My advice is to wish people a merry Christmas, wish them happy holidays, wish them a good day, say whatever kind thing you like. When people pass me on the street and say “Hello!” I don’t slap them in the face with a pamphlet and start screaming about why they should have said “God Bless You.”

And can we stop embarrassing ourselves with all this “Anti-Xmas” stuff? The “X” in Xmas is from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of Χριστός (Christ in Greek). The term Xmas was, historically, never intended to exclude or “cross out” the Christ in Christmas. X has been a greek abbreviation for Christ all through history.

I have a couple of points: One is that there isn’t a dang thing wrong with saying “Happy Holidays” if you’re a Christian and you simply want to wish someone a happy holiday season. My other point is that as Christians, it isn’t our job to police the way other people observe or don’t observe Christmas. We certainly don’t have to support something we feel isn’t right to support, but what are our expectations? Should we not shop at our local grocery store if they hang a decoration of Santa or Frosty instead of a Nativity scene? I’m not really expecting Christian celebration from a secular neutral media or marketplace, and that’s fine, I’m celebrating Jesus no matter what. I certainly won’t insist it should be done my way, even if I do believe in my way with all my heart. I will insist on Jesus by deeds done in humility and the heart of a servant, THIS is how I will show Jesus and celebrate His birth, not by boycotting Wal-Mart or Disney for wishing me a happy holiday.

If you want to decorate a tree or leave cookies for Santa or watch Home Alone then by all means go nuts! I know I am. And in the midst of the hot chocolate and jingle bell rock, I will celebrate Jesus above all else, making him the center of celebration rather than an aspect. Rudolph is an aspect, Ernest Saves Christmas is a detail, Jesus is the celebration. O’ come let us adore Him!

Happy Holidays
from your friends in Showbread!

-Josh Dies

December 16th, 2009

Bringing Showbread to Europe has been a dream of ours for as long as the band has been around. Over the years there have been countless emails from European Showbread fans beckoning us overseas, and rumors of a more open-minded audience have been more than encouraging. After several false starts and failed attempts, we packed our bags and headed to Germany for the Christmas Rock Night festival on December 3rd. We booked some extra shows and made a 10-day event out of it. Before we ever left, all but one of the extra shows fell through.

I hate flying. Being in a band, doing mission work and having a 3-year long distance relationship with my wife before we were married has riddled me with dozens of flying experiences… The same goes with most of the other band members actually. I’m not afraid of flying, but I can’t stand it. Airports are tedious and boring, flying is cramped and mind numbing and then there’s connections, layovers, security, make believe “orange” threat levels, etc. etc.

Anyway, we flew out. The trip there was fine. We get off the plane after 24 hours of travel and already we’re confused in the German airport. We somehow manage to pass baggage claim leaving us with the only option of going back through security to get our bags. Our first discourse with a German was with an airport staff member who called us “Six idiots” and let us back through. We’re thinking about changing our band name to this.

The festival experience was wonderful. Many awesome, encouraging Showbread fans with many kind things to say. Got to see our friends in Children 18:3 and Maylene. Performing was great. Different from festivals in the states in the sense that it seemed as if maybe people were there in the spirit of fun and acceptance rather than fashion and musical trends.

The trouble began in conversation. Any time we’d mention that we had a show in London the next day, people laughed at us. “This is not happening”, they’d say in Dutch accents. “I am thinking this is not possible.” We realized we couldn’t get in touch with the promoter or get to the show.

We headed back to the airport in the hopes of changing our tickets or getting some standby flights back home. As it turned out, this wasn’t going to happen. Travelocity wanted to charge us (get ready for it) $27,000 to change our tickets to an earlier flight. No I am not kidding, this is the actual number they gave us.

“They know we don’t want to buy the plane right?” Drew asked. “We just want to rent a seat.”

Having already lost a bit of money on the trip and with no shows, no transportation and no lodging, it seemed as if spending the next few days in the airport was the only possibility. After buying a few hours of internet access at the airport (why in the world do they have to charge you for that?) and spending some money trying to haggle with Travelocity, we were down another 80 bucks or so. We checked ourselves into a hotel attached to the airport.

The next few days were spent mostly reading, sleeping and ichatting with the wives. The free hotel breakfast was served at 3am and was essentially a bowl of apples. Every night we ate at McDonald’s (it was in the airport and was the only way to get full for cheap). We rode a train into the city and decided things weren’t so bad, we’d made the best of it.

After getting no sleep, the morning had finally come to fly home. Our first connection flight within Germany was severely behind, but the captain promised all the connecting airlines had been informed and that no one would miss their flights. We landed around the time our connecting flight was supposed to depart. The six of us running through the airport with arms full of luggage and guitars, we made it to the gate while people were still boarding the plane… yet, for some reason, even after mike yelled at the lady, they wouldn’t let us on. The very kind and helpful woman (I am saying all these things sarcastically…. Except woman, she really was a woman) who denied us access told us our only option was going back to ticketing and then through security again. We scrambled around the airport for another couple of hours, missing another couple of flights before Patrick waited in line at a help desk for an hour and we were all rebooked for a flight into the states. The new schedule however, left us spending the night at JFK airport in New York and missing our ride the next day in Atlanta.

The night at JFK was a tough one. The marble floor was harder than you’d think even for marble and somehow held a temperature that must have been several below zero. It felt like sleeping on slabs of ice. None of us had any bedding save a couple of pillows, so with no sleep in over 48 hours, freezing in NY was no fun.

Once back in Georgia we discovered one of our bags full of merch and Garrett’s luggage had turned up missing. Another few hours in the airport and we finally had all of our crap.

The journey’s conclusion took place at the home of our new friend’s Chad and Tina. These two and their roommate were some of the most generous, servant hearted folks we’ve ever met. We found ourselves well rested and well fed before we played the last Showbread show of 2009 in Atlanta and headed home.

Before we left their home, Chad and Tina encouraged our ministry and us. Jesus always has a way of ending a frustrating time with a very specific and purposeful reminder of our purpose. It never fails.

Now Showbread heads into the future… wait and see what’s coming.

last night was the final show of the Nothing Matters Anymore tour. 8 weeks long, 40 something shows (or more? I don’t remember…) it was the 7th anniversary of Showbread’s touring career. seven years on the road with an average of traveling around 8 months out of each year.
this summer was another for the books. we made wonderful new friends, we were treated to lots of free chipotle by awesome fans. there were crowds with a hundred and crowds with a dozen. lots of fun shows and hilarity, lots of 100 degree weather making everyone nuts, some of the most patience testing sound guys in history, a lot of late night stops at Wendy’s, lots of floors slept on, etc. etc. all the normal tour things. of course we wrapped it all up with a final stop at Krystal. yum.
it was great having The Gallery and Goodnight Caulfield with us this time around. they were great guys who were kind to put up with all the highs and lows of the tour and have a time with us.
thank you everyone who came to see the show, whether or not you were among a crowd of hundreds or a crowd of five, it is wildly appreciated. thanks to everyone who made an effort to be kind to us, it means more to us than you know. also thanks to everyone who was a jerk to us, stole our uniform shirts or told us our first album was better.
we shot hours upon hours of footage for the upcoming “Nothing Matters Anymore” DVD which we hope to release in time for Christmas.
now that it’s over it’ll be a long while before we hit the road to headline again… in fact next year our mission is to do most or all of our playing overseas.
here we come world.
but for the now, we hit the road on tuesday to begin a small run of dates with Project 86, Children 18:3 and The Wedding. see you soon.

-Josh Diesbread

Mike just brought it to my attention that some folks over at are having a “comment debate” about the artwork to our new album. Some people seem to be very upset with the cover, specifically the obscured visage of the pope.

I wanted to try and address this now before it escalates further. First of all let me say that Showbread aren’t graphic designers and we didn’t create the album art, but we do think that it suits the album thematically.

Let me just say now, that Showbread- although a protestant band- did not intend any defamation of the Catholic Church with this album cover, nor the pope as an individual, nor Catholics anywhere. Some folks pointed out that the pope pictured is/was a very good man and we never intended to say that he was or was not. We never intended to make a statement about him as an individual or Catholic at all. I’m not entirely sure why the idea of a red circle over his face has to be insulting in any way, because it isn’t meant to be… I think artistically the red circle acts as a focal point in the art, an “eye” if you will… the pope himself is not meant to be represented so much as a religious figure is. Thus, his face isn’t what’s important in this context.

I asked Ryan Clark (the man behind the art) to create a visual reference to things that we as people associate with God, religion, the church, etc. There is no image of Jesus Himself, only people and things. While everyone might have certain opinion’s about whether each image is good or bad or neutral is the point. Whatever opinions showbread has, we aren’t projecting them on to these images.

Ironically, a red circle covering a man’s face was enough to make some people so angry that they hurled insults at us, called us names and threatened to further slander us to keep people from buying our record, even though we never actually said a single defamatory thing, nor did we intend a red circle to be so offensive. There are people suggesting that the cover “ shows a juvenile understanding of Christ and His Church…” simply because our album cover has an anonymous red dot over a man’s face. Which in a way, gives specific weight to what the artwork is trying to say.

I don’t mention this to insult anyone or single anyone out (to this person who said this along with any other offended Catholics, I hope we can clear this up and keep/gain you as a fan/friend!)

If the central image were C.S. Lewis or Billy Graham with red dots over their faces it would not be our intention to insult either of them, just as we never intended to stir up any negativity with our Catholic friends.

The artwork and the album both deal with the search for God in a miserable world and where God is and isn’t “behind” our humanly comings and goings. I’d like to think that this cover would not offend the pope himself, as there is no disrespect inferred, only an introspective look at the faces of religion, good and bad, and how we find God in all the chaos. Believe me, the message on the record, as with all Showbread records, is in no way subtle. I think the pope would appreciate that.

-Josh dies




we had a good time at cornerstone. a nice family of campers shared a steak dinner with us. a nice family treated us to a pizza dinner with some friends from the Showbread forum. the weather was nice until the last day we were there. our set, the first of the year, was sloppy and chaotic and really fun. we let anyone who asked hear our record at our merch table. we met brian “head” welch at our hotel and enjoyed his set. we saw lots of friends. we hung out with our original drummer marvin all week. we met lots of wonderful people. it was a good time. apparently right after we left the sky opened up and everyone was subject to a torrential downpour. good timing Showbread.



The “Oh, this happy ending is stupid…wait a minute…AAAGGHH!!!” Ending


The “Good grief. Hasn’t she had enough?” Ending.



The “Well that seemed to end bad, then it got worse, no happy ending” Ending


The “Well I’ll be darned. That was smart. Now I’m depressed” Ending


FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)

The “That was the coolest part in the movie and now we can make a dozen sequels” Ending



The “This was basically a sillier ‘Friday the 13th’ but still cool” Ending



The “Creepiest and most awesome ad libbed line followed by bizarre ‘what in the world?'”     Ending



The “extremely abrupt scary/funny” Ending



The “Well this just sucks” Ending



The “Was she better off dead?” Ending



The “What the heck?” Ending



The “Well crap, I guess we’re still screwed” Ending



The “Thought provoking, losing faith in humanity” Ending



The “Ultimate unhappy miserably bleak twist of fate” Ending

tomorrow could be the last day of mixing… if not then, we’ll finish early Tuesday.

it’s kind of surreal. listening to these mixes… this record is so different but so familiar, i think it has been waiting for its time to come. we are very excited. we really believe this is Raw Rock at its purest and best ever.

oh, and if you haven’t seen Terminator Salvation yet you are doing yourself a great disservice. I felt like I was having a flashback to my ten year old self who was obsessed with T2 like nothing else mattered. we were giddy, cheering kids in the theater. it was a wonderful feeling. and if you’re not a huge Terminator nerd, you’ll still enjoy the movie.

we’ll be making some announcements on June 1st about the record.