some forum members asked me for these back in august. here they are right on time (showbread time.)
1. I’m Lost – I liked the idea of a purposefully introductory song to begin the album. I wrote and demoed the music and wrote an accompanying poem that sort of establishes a spirit of confession and lowliness before the album expounds upon all the reoccurring themes of finality, death, etc.
2. Nothing Matters Anymore – More of less the theme song for The Fear Of God, embracing the spirit of “insanity” and the Christian interpreted Tyler Durden philosophy of “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
3. Lost Connection With The Head – This song deals specifically with a handful of people that were close friends of mine for several years before lifestyle choices forced us to drift apart. My old friends embraced a kind of party mentality that has a lot to do with drugs, alcohol, sex and other various “cheap thrills”. After being prompted by the Holy Spirit to write a very personal letter to one of my friends, she replied with a letter of her own that basically explained that while she realized her current choices were foolish, she had no desire to make any changes. She was completely satisfied with nothing. The lyrics to this song were inspired by that experience. Musically, the song was (as many people guessed) inspired by Marilyn Manson’s tendency toward bass heavy riffs paired with glam-rock, low-end drum rhythms.
4. Regret Consumes Me – Showbread is a band who has fallen victim to the curse/blessing of an ever changing cast of characters. This song is a letter to many of the former members of Showbread who left the band on less than perfect terms. Each line deals with a different person culminating in the overall realization that, in the end, all changes have been for the best.
5. Out Of My Mind – While touring to promote my books last winter I for some reason developed to urge to listen to The Darkness every day for a couple of weeks. This song was written under that influence. My wife, while a fan of The Darkness herself, grew weary of my dedication. I decided to use this music to write her a love song. Weaved in are the overarching themes dealing with love’s connection to insanity. During the writing sessions this song became known as “The AC/DC song” and Landon’s solo was inspired by Angus Young. We had the hardest time making the song fit within the musical context of the album and often considered cutting it from the final list. After several drafts we found a balance we were all happy with.
6. Vehement – Vehement is one of the songs that changed very little from it’s original demo to the version that appears on the album. At Sylvia’s suggestion, we extended the track slightly. Lyrically the song deals with the problem many Christians run into when they feel the need to verbally correct those they decide aren’t living up to the proper standards. Biblically, we are called to lead by actions and deeds done in humility and service and to avoid verbal criticism. Obviously this doesn’t stop many Christians from endlessly running their mouths and thus inspiring this song.
7. The Great Emasculation – The song that rails against the idea of a man allowing his wife or significant other to change who he is. I wrote this song as a person annoyed with how many guys I know that become an entirely different person, and not for the better, just a shell of the personality they once were. Marriage, a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church, is of course about humility and becoming a servant. But love does not involve sapping the essence from someone to accommodate your own personality.
8. Shepherd, No Sheep – Perhaps the signature song for Showbread’s attitude toward criticism, fan expectations and music in general. Annoyance becomes antipathy and antipathy becomes apathy. The song is the prearranged reply to everyone who would have a problem with the album. Ironically, several reviews pointed out “Shepherd, No Sheep” as the only dull song on an otherwise decent record. I think they missed the point.
9. Let There Be Raw – The summary of Showbread.
10. I Think I’m Going To See You – The character in this song is struggling with traditional American ideas of pride, patriotism, selfishness, greed etc. He’s realizing he identifies less and less with the world and as he steadily withdraws from he develops his own antithetical ideas in the process that revolve around humility and self-sacrifice. The more he embraces this notion of madness, the more he sees the true character of God.
11. Precursor – Intended as a literal precursor to the track that follows it. The character in this song has discarded his ideas of faith and spiritual beliefs after considering that perhaps he had been “scared” into religion. This person has latched on to the popular idea that the idea of a personal God exists only to comfort the souls of those who fear we are alone in the universe. As the song goes on and this character begins to examine the theological ramifications of holding the Bible as truth, he discovers that belief is certainly more terrifying than unbelief.
12. The Fear Of God – The continuation of the song “Precursor” in which the narrator has suspended his disbelief long enough to accept the possibility of Jesus as God. In this intimate and uninhibited moment he poses all his questions to God, namely: where are you? How can you be good if the world is so bad? As more questions are raised and the world becomes darker and uglier the peace of God, in all of its mystery, transcends the moment of complete despair.
13. Until We Meet Again – A song written for my best friend after he died last year.